The delight of an evacuated birdhouse
In a world where social expectations often pressure mothers to prioritize their children above all else, expressing happiness at the thought of children leaving the nest can feel like a taboo. However, a growing number of parents are breaking this unspoken rule, finding solace and joy in the transition.
Karine Glorieux, author of the book After the Children, notes that this feeling of liberation and euphoria when children leave the nest is not uncommon. She emphasizes that approaching this stage is crucial and that the bond between parent and child continues to evolve.
Isabelle Fortin, a mother of two adult daughters, is one such individual who has embraced this new chapter. At 52, she is rediscovering herself, taking up photography classes, starting Pilates, and planning small getaways with her partner. Her younger daughter attends college as a boarder, while the older one is pursuing university studies in Toronto. Despite their physical distance, Isabelle feels "very close" to her daughters.
Maude Goyer, another mother, shares similar sentiments. She expresses joy at her daughters leaving home, stating that she is happy to rediscover herself after giving everything to her family. She encourages parents to be proud as their parenting life continues to expand, experiencing new things through their children.
However, this transition is not without its challenges. Parents often cope emotionally with mixed feelings of sadness, anxiety, loss of purpose, and worry. This phenomenon, known as empty nest syndrome, affects roughly 27% of parents. Emotional challenges include sadness, anxiety about the child’s wellbeing, and questioning one’s identity after the loss of daily parenting roles.
To navigate these challenges, parents are advised to understand and accept the emotional stages involved, seek new personal interests or goals, maintain strong social connections, communicate openly with their children, and possibly engage in counseling if feelings become overwhelming.
Financially, the transition may free up some resources as child-related expenses decrease, but it can also lead to adjustments in lifestyle or retirement planning. Parents are encouraged to plan financially by reviewing budgets and retirement goals with the change in household size in mind.
Psychologist Nadia Gagnier believes the taboo of feeling joy at seeing the nest empty comes from our era of superproductivity and superperformance. She encourages parents to normalize their feelings and embrace the opportunity for personal growth and renewed relationships.
Suzie, a mother of two young adults, eagerly awaits her children leaving home and is not afraid to express this desire. She looks forward to regaining time to invest in different aspects of life, exploring new hobbies, reconnecting with solitude, and having some peace.
In conclusion, the empty nest phase can indeed be a time of loss and sadness. But with the right approach, it can also be a time of personal growth, renewed relationships, and rediscovering oneself. As Karine Glorieux puts it, "the bond between parent and child continues."
Karine Glorieux's assertion that the feeling of liberation and euphoria when children leave the nest is not uncommon aligns with Isabelle Fortin's experiences, who, at 52, is immersing herself in education and self-development activities like photography classes and Pilates, as well as personal growth opportunities through small getaways with her partner. Maude Goyer, another parent, similarly voices joy at her daughters moving out, expressing a desire to focus on relationships and personal growth as her parenting life expands. However, the empty nest syndrome, characterized by mixed feelings of sadness, anxiety, and loss of purpose, affects many parents, emphasizing the need for emotional support, new personal interests, open communication with children, and potentially counseling.
Financially, the transition to an empty nest can lead to adjustments in lifestyle or retirement planning as child-related expenses decrease, and it is advised that parents review budgets and retirement goals with the change in household size in mind. Psychologist Nadia Gagnier encourages parents to normalize their feelings and embrace this opportunity for personal growth and renewed relationships, viewing it as a step toward family-dynamics evolution rather than a departure from our children.
After her children leave home, Suzie, a mother of two young adults, looks forward to investing time in various aspects of life, incorporating new hobbies, solitude, and peace into her lifestyle, demonstrating that the empty nest phase can indeed be a time of renewed personal growth and rediscovering oneself, as Karine Glorieux suggests.
