Instructions for Encouraging Sharing in Children, Based on Professional Advice
Teaching sharing to young children can be a challenging yet rewarding task. By combining play-based activities with language modifications, we can help children develop essential life skills such as social skills, compassion, and patience.
Embracing Group Play Activities
Group play activities that require cooperation, turn-taking, and joint goals are an effective way to embed sharing in meaningful contexts. Building blocks, playing on playground equipment, or any activity that encourages children to communicate, listen, and empathize with others is a great starting point.
Modifying Language for Developmental Levels
Using simple, clear phrases that emphasize feelings and social reasons for sharing can make a significant difference. Instead of saying "share," you might say, "Let’s take turns so everyone can have fun," or "You’re showing kindness by sharing your toy." This approach ties sharing to concepts like compassion and patience, making it relatable and understandable for young children.
The DIR Floortime Approach
The DIR (Development, Individual-difference, Relationship) Floortime approach or similar child-led play frameworks can also be beneficial. Adults follow the child’s interests but gently guide interactions toward sharing and cooperative behavior. This nurtures social awareness, emotional connection, and autonomy while encouraging cognitive skills like problem-solving in social contexts.
Direct Instruction and Modeling
Explain what sharing looks like and why it matters, demonstrate sharing behaviors, and role-play scenarios. Offer praise and constructive feedback to reinforce positive social interactions. This direct instruction and modeling enhance understanding and help children internalize the concept of sharing.
Focusing on Foundational Skills
Before expecting complex sharing behaviors, it's essential to build confidence and capability gradually. Focus on prerequisite and foundational social skills such as attention to peers, requesting help or toys politely, and understanding the concept of turns.
Understanding the Challenges
The prefrontal cortex of young children is still developing, making sharing a challenging mental exercise. Changing the language from "sharing" to "taking turns" can help plant the seeds for problem-solving. Sharing also involves the understanding of time and the ability to let go of objects, which is not inherent in young children.
Encouraging Assertiveness
Every child has their own personality, and some may need help learning to be assertive when it comes to sharing. Encouraging children to ask for their turn ("Can I take a turn?" or "When can I have a turn?") is a good practice in mutual respectful sharing.
Preparing for Playdates
Role-playing with a child before a playdate can help prepare them for situations where friends might want to play with their toys. Physically moving with a child to explore different areas, or handing them another toy to explore, can help soften their rigidity.
A Long-Term Perspective
Teaching sharing to young children involves shifting the mindset from short-term behavior change to long-term teaching of life skills like social skills, compassion, patience, emotional regulation, empathy, flexibility, awareness of others and self, and healthy boundaries.
Remember, it's age-appropriate for a child to refuse to share, and this does not necessarily mean they will be forever selfish. The author Jane Nelsen reminds parents that refusing to share does not mean a child will always be selfish.
Resources for toddler parents include children's books about the Pacific Northwest, free activities in Seattle, essentials for a Montessori playroom, and indoor play activities from a preschool teacher.
By embracing a play-based approach and modifying language to suit children’s cognitive stages, we can create a supportive learning environment where young children develop sharing skills as part of broader social, emotional, and cognitive growth. This method lays the groundwork for life skills like empathy, patience, and cooperation essential for their future.
- Group play activities that encourage cooperation, turn-taking, and joint goals are beneficial for embedding sharing in meaningful contexts for young children.
- Using simple, clear phrases that focus on concepts like compassion and patience when explaining the importance of sharing can be more effective for young children.
- The DIR (Development, Individual-difference, Relationship) Floortime approach or similar child-led play frameworks can help nurture social awareness, emotional connection, and autonomy while encouraging cognitive skills.
- Offering direct instruction, demonstrating sharing behaviors, and role-playing scenarios can help children internalize the concept of sharing and reinforce positive social interactions.
- Before expecting complex sharing behaviors, it's important to focus on prerequisite and foundational social skills such as attention to peers, polite requests, and understanding the concept of turns.
- The prefrontal cortex of young children is still developing, making sharing a challenging mental exercise that requires planting seeds for problem-solving.
- Encouraging children to be assertive by asking for their turn can help foster mutual respectful sharing and combat rigidity.
- Preparing children for playdates by role-playing and exploring different areas can help them face situations where friends might want to play with their toys.
- The long-term goal of teaching sharing to young children is to instill life skills like social skills, empathy, patience, emotional regulation, and healthy boundaries rather than focusing on short-term behavior change.
